"get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger . . forgiving each other. . ." Ephesians 4:31a, 32b
Yesterday, in my late teen's, I took art classes at the local Junior College and made some artsy collages with found materials I had at hand (assemblage). My favorite one had as a foundation, a wooden fruit crate. I wove a yarn blanket across the inside back and hung trinkets here and there. And I had also gotten crafty with a pair of my grandfather's blue farmer overhalls. He died the year before, so when my grandmother gave away his clothing, I requested a pair he wore almost constantly. To make them more feminine, I embroidered flowers across the top and down the sides of the bib. I felt connected and close to my grandpa when I wore them.
One weekend, after a sleep-over at a girlfriend's, I came home to a sterile bedroom. My mother had entered my private sanctum, less than perfectly clean, and hauled all kinds of trash out of there, as she put it. AACK! My favorite collage was gone and my overhalls were too! Man, I hurt! I guess she didn't know how much those cherished treasures meant to me
Since my mother didn't see beauty the same way I did, I have felt since then, nothing I created was worthy. I've nursed hurt instead, allowing a grudge to choke creativity out.
Prayer: Thank you, Father, for showing me the sin I was hiding in my heart. Pluck the anger & blame game out; shine joy on me instead. Confirm my value to you. Grow my creativity forward. In Jesus name, Amen!
"The harsh critic within (self-doubt and judgement) are all-too-familiar thieves that keeps creativity stuck in our souls." ~ Annie Lockhart.